In the story of the creation of the world described by the Torah, we find a passage in the text after Hashem created man he said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

Hashem determined that the human being needs a companion but it took some time for Eve to be created. First all the animals were created, and Hashem asked the human being to name them. At the end of this part, it is written “… but the man did not find a companion that was compatible with him”.

The Midrash has the answer Hashem was “acting like a matchmaker”, trying to match the first man to every animal in the garden.

This story may resemble a blind date. So you go to the hotel, very nervous, wondering what the date will be like when she arrives.

And when someone arrives you experience an overwhelming sensation. Imagine Adam in the lobby of the “hotel paradise” waiting anxiously. And whoever arrives is an elephant, or a giraffe! “This is not going to work Hashem.”

Poor Adam. He met all the animals and he was not happy. Why was Adam not happy with an animal as a companion in his quest for love and unity?

Because animals are subordinate to man and not equal to him. And that’s why Adam could not stop being lonely because he could not find true love in a subordinate, dominated being.

The Torah is quite clear in describing the ideal companion for Adam. She must be “Kenegda”. The Hebrew word Kenegda means “against, opposite, parallel”. Hashem intends for Adam’s mate to be someone who in a very positive and respectful way will “face him head on”, causing her to relate to him on the same level.

Torah and Kabbalah regard each couple’s relationship as part of a process that mends the relationship of Adam and Eve, and in so doing receives the light of love back into the world. True love cannot be achieved through domination. It takes mutual respect, recognition of each other’s potential, even when thinking differently, and a lot of generosity.

Taken from the Book Infinite Light by Rabbi David Aaron